Gypsies 1, Internet 0

While the US Federal Government prepares to go on a vacation from which we all hope they'll return with t-shirts and souvenirs, it's important to distract ourselves with less depressing news. Thankfully, there is always someone out there who knows EXACTLY what we need.

Several days ago an elderly Georgian "pensioner" (which in the Caucasus region is of course code for "gypsy") digging for scrap metal in the town of Ksani accidentally struck a large fiber-optic cable...and summarily cut off Internet connections to both Georgia and neighboring Armenia. It's a deep, convoluted story, but let's really try to unpack this thing piece by piece:

1) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha--

2) "Many Georgians' Internet connections were also briefly cut in 2009 by another scavenger who damaged the fibre-optic cable."

3) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--

There's something so...achingly perfect in the image of a 75-year-old woman unknowingly hacking away at an entire country's Internet connection. Especially when it's a real image, not even dreamt up (who would dream about that......right?) or composed for a Bergman-inspired student film! In a world so dependent on tethered computers that allow us to compare Doodle Jump scores while writing blog posts no one will read, all it takes to bring everything to a grinding halt is a persistent gypsy with a worn-out shovel. Life is BEAUTIFUL.