The McCrazy Files: "My McNuggets Are An Emergency!"

There are two sure things in this life: one, that we will all at some point die; two, that fast food chains will always be a magnet for ridiculousness. Rumbles under the Golden Arches. Relationship-destroying initiatives echoing from the Burger King's burger palace. You can't make this shit up, which is also sadly (but deliciously) true for today's addition to the McCrazy files.

When you've gotta have your Chicken McNuggets, you've gotta have your Chicken McNuggets. When you can't GET those Nuggets, then you call 911. Wait, what? That's what Floridian Latreasa Goodman did last Saturday when her local McDonald's ran out of her favorite chicken product and, citing their "no refund" policy, offered her a McDouble and fry instead. AAWWW HEEEELLL NAAWW. Goodman wasn't having any of that noise, and decided this was a dispute only the police could sort out. She called 911 three times. THREE TIMES. (That's a McHat Trick or a McOut, depending on the sport, but it's clear that Goodman was ready to play ball.)

I'm lovin' it! This woman stood up for something she believed in - her right to tender ten-piece Chicken McNuggets - even though some might consider her "ridiculous" or "really ridiculous." She's a martyr! A symbol for the disenfranchised, the hungry. Goodman is you, me, your aunt who throws stuff at her television. Latreasa Goodman is America.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvq3Pf3j61c&feature=related]

And that Smoking Gun report? Let's just say it raises more questions than it answers. Why was this McDonald's not properly stocked with an appropriate amount of McNuggets? Why was Goodman not informed of their shortage at the time she a) made her order and b) handed the cashier her money? What is a McDouble? One can only hope these are answered before the next fast food emergency, wherever it might be. I'm hoping Arby's.

(Thanks to Luke for sending me the story!)