Things That Happened In The Last Five Weeks, Part 4

4) Three-Time Academy Award Nominee Laura Linney Told Me Not to Vote and I Almost Listened

A record 133 million Americans voted in this year's Presidential election. 133 million - huge. That's over 60% of our country's citizens who got off the couch and, taking that old MTA adage to heart, saw something and said something. Even factoring in a steadily increasing population (which gives the record a bit of a Titanic quality) that's a bona fide big number. You saw the people in line at your polling place, right? Amazing. That's why I'm slightly ashamed to admit I almost wasn't one of them.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olpCyDA4kYA]

You've all seen this, right? "Hollywood's Hottest Celebs" (I shit you not, this is how they're addressed by the DNC) all gathered in one location to drop some voting knowledge on your ignorant ass. And with such a clever twist, too! To be fair, it's not a bad premise - address voter apathy head on, and with all the "spunk" and "attitude" a 2008 video might require. I'm sure some people respond to that. And for me, anyway, reverse psychology is firing on all cylinders when certified psychopath Halle Berry tells me not to do something (I nearly ran to my polling place in early October). But the smugness on display - the vacuous celebrity arrogance, even (or maybe especially) amongst the Oscar nominees - is enough to make me consider what kind of country it is that I'm voting in.

I was always going to vote. College-educated and raised in the "You're Awesome!" era, there was no way I wasn't going to allow my voice (however hoarse at the moment) to be heard. But videos like this make me pause. Is America worth fighting for if these are the people delivering her civic messages? Ashton Kutcher? Courtney Cox? JONAH HILL?!? Why is Jonah Hill telling me to do (or not do) anything? Cynicism isn't attactive on anyone, I know, but I don't think it's possible to assemble a team that could more turn me off from voting - hell, even democracy - than the one featured here. FUCK democracy if PSA's like this are where it leads.

(Editor's note: I'm actually a big supporter of democracy.)